So, Vivace! was over already.

Actually, as much as i wanna get outta ensemble, i still miss having practices with them. Contradicting much?

Actually not, if i have all the time in the world, i don't mind like practising with them for like everyday or sth. But i guess JC life isn't easy and we all have to slog our guts out in order to go uni. And that probably explains why so many people wanna quit/pon guitar practices. BUT, this doesn't mean we don't love music, we don't love the ensemble. If not, we wouldn't have joined guitar in the first place.

Reminisce Romance, left a footprint in my life. I never thought that we could somehow manage to pull off a performance reasonably well when we're in fact only two solid months old as of now. We're gonna continue after SA & A's, i'm sure(: love you all!

So SA2 is coming, and i really wanna do averagely well so i don't have to be down for night study ad remedials anymore. I wanna go home early to rest, and not fighting with people for buses late at night.

And as cliche as it sounds, i really wanna make my family proud of me, and my music, and my studies.

Today is my darling jolene babe king birthday! Happy birthday silly girl!! :P love you many many!!

I guess my last ever concert, no ones coming except for my ten years long friendship people coming. That is toky and howguan. It kinda hurts i guess. It started out with alot of people coming. Now its just left with two. What a joke.

I feel like letting go, but another part of me tells me not to.
& i don't know what to do.

P/s, this time its for real.

Been a long time.



I guess even tho the friendship btw us is starting to be okie again. But i guess i can never forget what you've said to me last wed.



Perhaps you don't know that music is my longlife passion. Its the only place where i have pride and joy in it. Thats why majority of my self confidence came from there. By crushing part of my music, you've already crushed a part of me. I have thus since stop singing since that day. Even when i go to church and sing the hymns, i dont even feel like singing, and i dont feel happy anymore. I've lost confidence in my music, my life. And it is also affecting my morale, my studies, and confidence in my guitar/piano/etc. I've been ultra highly paranoid when i play a wrong note, or don't understand this particular topic. giving myself ultra self pressure.

I hate myself like this. I hate it. But I just can't help it.